A West Coast Catch Up

I was very excited when my friend Christi contacted me to let me know that she and her husband Garrett were going to be vacationing in San Francisco and that they would love to meet up. Yay! I have known Christi since I met her at 4-H camp when I was 7 or 8 years old and I have known her husband Garrett since I was in high school!  

We picked a restaurant in the city based on some recommendations from friends. I wanted to choose a place that was located close to their hotel and also highly recommended. We decided on Farmer Browns located on the cusp Union Square and the Tenderloin. Ha! The Tenderloin is probably the most dangerous neighborhood in San Francisco. Joe and I were surprised to find cheap parking ($8 - yes!), and as we walked away from the car, we realized that we had parked squarely in the middle of it. We were pretty confident that station wagons aren't very high on the "cars to jack" list.

We met up with Christi and Garret outside of the restaurant then ducked into our brunch destination. Farmer Browns touts itself as a "soul food" southern style restaurant with a west coast spin. Both Christi and I were excited to see what this was all about and if it could hold a candle to the food we grew up on.

When we sat down at out table we were told about the brunch buffet (which sounded delicious), the a la carte items on the menu and informed that we would only have 90 minutes at the table once our drink orders were taken. Well, that was not the southern hospitality that I grew up around. No one tells you that you have 90 minutes to sit on their porch, drink tea and visit with them and then you must leave! There were no time limits for visiting! However,  I can totally understand their time limit though as it is a desirable place to eat and they need to cycle people in and out.

I opted for the brunch buffet which did not disappoint! The buffet offered some of everything: biscuits, gravy, fried catfish, fried chicken, waffles, salad, fresh fruit, cheesy grits, desserts…..yum. I need to go back there. The catfish was my favorite item on the buffet - it was battered perfectly in a cornmeal mixture and not overly greasy from the frying. Our food was delicious but our conversation and the catching up we were able to do with Christi and Garret was outstanding. Obviously none of our kids were there!

After brunch we walked to a Starbucks to catch up a little more as the live music was a little loud at Farmer Browns and didn't allow for much conversation. While walking through the sketchy neighborhood Christi and I talked about how we didn't really notice that we were in a rough part of town because we were busy looking around at other things. I am often naive about the intent of people or the danger of a neighborhood. I would say that could be attributed to growing up in a community where everyone knows everyone as you gain a lot of trust because people are good (for the most part).

Christi and I chatted it up while Joe and Garret were having a conversation of their own. We talked about being a stay at home mom vs. working outside the home mom (as we both have done both), talked about my experience in CA up to this point, she caught me up on what is going on in Morgantown and we were able to catch up on what is going on with many of our mutual friends. I love talking with Christi she is one of those people that is genuinely interested in what you have to say.

While driving home both Joe and I talked about how bummed we were that we didn't hang out with Christi and Garret more often when we were in Morgantown. But, we both had a baby and then we both had a second (and no one thought to inform us that this severely limits what you can do).

The visit was awesome and ended too quickly. They had to explore San Francisco, and we had to relieve our babysitter. On my way home, I couldn't help but think that even though I was 3,000 miles from where we grew up, some people just feel like home. Thanks for a great visit Christi and Garrett!

Christi and Garrett in SF

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I get no respect.

When I worked "in the real world" I had people around me that respected me (or at least pretended to). Now, I get no respect.  I get no kudos for anything. Sometimes it seems as though I work in "wacky world" instead of "the real world". I want an annual review. I want to know what I am doing a good job at and what I could do better. I would like to have a goal setting session to plan out what I will accomplish with my little people within the next year. I want positive feedback. I thrive on positive feedback.

Instead, the feedback I get usually comes in the form of "I don't like this supper" or "No, never" or even more demanding "I need water", "you forgot my fork". Geez! Give me a break! First of all, you are welcome for your supper. Second, take a time out because we don't tell Mommy "no, never". Thirdly, I'm in the process of filling up your water but now it is about to turn into a battle because you will be forced to ask for your drink politely, you will refuse, you will get upset, you will finally ask for it politely. Lastly, get up and get your own fork.

Okay, so some of that is a lie. Joe tells me almost daily what an amazing job I am doing with the kids. He reminds me of all of the things they are learning/seeing/experiencing. He respects me and the decisions I make in raising our kids. He knows me too well. He knows that if I don't hear some form feedback I will probably shrivel up and die. AND, he always loves dinner (even if it is burnt to a crisp) :).

Also, my kids are actually pretty grateful and caring the majority of the time. I am highlighting the worst for the purposes of creating a funny blog post. Of course. And, we have all had "those" days where there is seriously - no respect, zero, zilch. No one tosses you a bone, or a crumb, nothing. Those days are teaching days. Major teaching days. Days that are created for us to help shape their behavior. It doesn't mean that it is easy or that we don't want to hide in a closet. I just mean that we have to use those days to teach what we want to see or the kids chalk it up to "acceptable behavior".

So, even though the kids are way to little to give me the feedback that I crave I am told that I will see the fruits of my labor in 20 years. Really?!? Yep, that is what I am told. I have to wait about 20 years to see the return on this investment. I swear that this person told me that as if it was some kind of reassurance. That statement did not reassure me - it almost made me run as far as I could as fast as I could. Ha!

But, after some thoughtful consideration I trust that in 20 years I will see the fruits of my labor. Plus, I believe that I will see many nuggets that will get me through till then. After all, I see little nuggets daily that reassure that I am doing the right thing. And, I will continue to try my best to raise our children to be assets to society. I hope that if I accomplish anything I shape them to be kind, caring, compassionate, resilient, loving, confident, respectful and determined. I want them to be strong in who they are and unwavering in what they believe.

So, I will continue to live in a way that exemplifies: kindness, caring, compassion, resiliency, love, confidence, respect and determination because by being an example of those things I am teaching them in a way that nothing else can. So, although I don't have that formal annual review I crave - I have an internal daily review (which is much harsher).

I might "get no respect" now. But in 20 years that had better turn around ;).

What characteristics/traits do you attempt to live daily?

Big Basin Redwoods State Park

While my dad was here we decided that we needed to kidnap him and take him to see some redwoods. By kidnap I mean get him in the car to ride somewhere. His mission while he was here was to spend quality time with the kids - not spend time in a car (they love the babies so much). This was a place that I had already visited once when my mom and sister came out. I remember both of them being in awe of the trees and the beauty of the park. Mom agreed that dad would be fascinated by the redwoods. So, we all loaded up in the car and made the drive (without telling my dad that the drive would be a little over an hour).

Big Basin Redwoods State Park is absolutely breathtaking. The park is located in the Santa Cruz mountains and was established in 1902. The drive is very curvy and the road narrows to a one lane - hello, West Virginia driving!

A picture we took on the drive. 

Once we arrived there we began walking around looking at the massive trees. As we stood among trees that are estimated to be 1,000 to 2,000 years old I was reminded that someone who is way bigger than me is in charge of things and is doing a darn good job of it. The scenery is nothing short of amazing. It is almost as if you are inside the most beautiful nature painting you have ever seen.

We walked around the park on one of the easier trails that showcased some of the most amazing trees in the park. We got to see what is called Mother of the Forest which is tallest measured tree (329 feet!) in the park as well as Father of the Park which is believed to be over 2,000 years old! The walk was beautiful and the kids enjoyed running to hide amongst the redwoods and attempting to scare us as we walked by.

Father of the Forest Tree

My dad spends the majority of his time outdoors and can identify any type of tree in West Virginia, Virginia or Kentucky. However, he hadn't seen a gigantic redwood before so I am glad that we were able to kidnap him and take him to see something new!

I guess Q got tired from trying to 

process all the beauty around her? ;)

If you happen to live on the left coast but haven't gone to see giant redwoods, shame on you. Go do it! If you are ever visiting the left coast you should add it to your list of things to do.



Quick Q&A:

Are there things that you didn't tell us about Big Basin Redwoods State Park?

Yes! Much more information can be found here.