I get no respect.
When I worked "in the real world" I had people around me that respected me (or at least pretended to). Now, I get no respect. I get no kudos for anything. Sometimes it seems as though I work in "wacky world" instead of "the real world". I want an annual review. I want to know what I am doing a good job at and what I could do better. I would like to have a goal setting session to plan out what I will accomplish with my little people within the next year. I want positive feedback. I thrive on positive feedback.
Instead, the feedback I get usually comes in the form of "I don't like this supper" or "No, never" or even more demanding "I need water", "you forgot my fork". Geez! Give me a break! First of all, you are welcome for your supper. Second, take a time out because we don't tell Mommy "no, never". Thirdly, I'm in the process of filling up your water but now it is about to turn into a battle because you will be forced to ask for your drink politely, you will refuse, you will get upset, you will finally ask for it politely. Lastly, get up and get your own fork.
Okay, so some of that is a lie. Joe tells me almost daily what an amazing job I am doing with the kids. He reminds me of all of the things they are learning/seeing/experiencing. He respects me and the decisions I make in raising our kids. He knows me too well. He knows that if I don't hear some form feedback I will probably shrivel up and die. AND, he always loves dinner (even if it is burnt to a crisp) :).
Also, my kids are actually pretty grateful and caring the majority of the time. I am highlighting the worst for the purposes of creating a funny blog post. Of course. And, we have all had "those" days where there is seriously - no respect, zero, zilch. No one tosses you a bone, or a crumb, nothing. Those days are teaching days. Major teaching days. Days that are created for us to help shape their behavior. It doesn't mean that it is easy or that we don't want to hide in a closet. I just mean that we have to use those days to teach what we want to see or the kids chalk it up to "acceptable behavior".
So, even though the kids are way to little to give me the feedback that I crave I am told that I will see the fruits of my labor in 20 years. Really?!? Yep, that is what I am told. I have to wait about 20 years to see the return on this investment. I swear that this person told me that as if it was some kind of reassurance. That statement did not reassure me - it almost made me run as far as I could as fast as I could. Ha!
But, after some thoughtful consideration I trust that in 20 years I will see the fruits of my labor. Plus, I believe that I will see many nuggets that will get me through till then. After all, I see little nuggets daily that reassure that I am doing the right thing. And, I will continue to try my best to raise our children to be assets to society. I hope that if I accomplish anything I shape them to be kind, caring, compassionate, resilient, loving, confident, respectful and determined. I want them to be strong in who they are and unwavering in what they believe.
So, I will continue to live in a way that exemplifies: kindness, caring, compassion, resiliency, love, confidence, respect and determination because by being an example of those things I am teaching them in a way that nothing else can. So, although I don't have that formal annual review I crave - I have an internal daily review (which is much harsher).
I might "get no respect" now. But in 20 years that had better turn around ;).
What characteristics/traits do you attempt to live daily?
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